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Because for better or for worse, dating in Houston is different than anywhere else. College football rivalries are alive and killing it.

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And by it, we mean your doomed relationship if you went to opposing schools. Most people are here for work, so be prepared to get your heart broken when your new girlfriend takes a two-year expat assignment in Germany.

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Auf Wiedersehen. Which is sweet, because you only own flip-flops.

Sticky ribs, massive chicken-fried steaks, sloppy burgers, hot-as-hell curries. The number of ways to get sauce all over your face knows no bounds.

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Wash, rinse, repeat until someone actually sticks. Everyone drives.

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It was nice out when you left the house, but by the time you made it to your picnic in the park the sky looked like the coming of the Apocalypse.

Or at least severe tropical weather.

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Does your date keep their apartment stocked with beef jerky, water, and tequila? Marry them.

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Good thing, because you just spotted some friends at the bar. There is no in between.

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And suddenly, with one order of nachos, your Tinder love affair was over. True story: Male or female, young or old, Houstonians like their local beers. In fact, your first kinda real fight was over who was the better parallel parker. You lost.

That one time you met at Top Golf was fun, but is it really worth the inevitable traffic and subsequent road rage? Midtown and over 30? You may have a bit of Peter Pan syndrome on your hands. Free pussy in Owensboro Heights and Housyon 30? Beware the summer interns you find partying in Midtown. They may look your age, but they could be out celebrating their 21st.

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Meaning that girl you met at your favorite local bar and dated for three weeks before things went nuclear is probably going to be at that same bar when you are trying to hit Houstln another girl three weeks later. Follow her at BrookeViggiano to find out how she escaped.

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Where you went to college actually matters College football rivalries are alive and killing it. The schizophrenic 70786 will ruin your date plans at least once It was nice out when you left the house, but by the time you made it to your picnic in the park the sky looked like the coming of the Apocalypse.

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Proper dating etiquette is either a huge priority or not a thing at all There is no in between. Going to a brewery is a perfectly acceptable date idea Male or female, young or old, Houstonians like their local beers. If your date Layd outside the Loop, you will never see each other Ever. Want More?

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